Self pity party.
[edit] Well…work wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be last night. The place still sucks but I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. When I had mentioned to some girls about myself gaining weight they all said “yeah…probably in your boobs.” Funny, funny. As for the sex thing…James and I did it last night, well technically this morning at 5am. It was great, as it is always but I got dizzy this time from being so tired. I still wish I had friends down here, but at least I still have some up north. [/edit]
Life sucks right now. I mean…I guess it could be worse, I could be starving or something…and I’m not. I’ve just been really bored and lonely…
:grin:
I hardly ever see James, he works 60+ hours a week so he usually doesn’t come home until 8pm. Then he goes and works out with his friend for a couple hours, so by the time I’m able to spend time with him I’m ready for bed. I’m just really frustrated because he never wants to have sex! We got in a fight about it last night because I called him a name. I’m just sick of him acting like a prude, he was never like this before. He uses the excuse that he’s just really tired because he works a lot, well…he worked the same amount of time before! Maybe I’m just being selfish? I dunno… I’m not a nymphomaniac or anything, I just want to have sex with my boyfriend that I love. It’s really driving. me. crazy.
I’ve also been bummed because I have no cash flow. I’m used to making decent money and I haven’t been working so I’m broke. That’s hopefully going to change though because I’m going back to work tonight. I’m really nervous though…I look like I’ve gained 10 pounds and I don’t want the other girls judging me. I know that’s a stupid thing to worry about, but my work place is gossip central and the girls all love to talk shit. I just need to keep telling myself to hold my head up high and ignore it, I’m there to make money. If I get too stressed out I’m just going to say “f-it” and walk out of the place and never turn back. I’ve been depressed about things lately, and I don’t need that place making it worse.
I need to get out.
Love, Crystal
Hey there, I'm Crystal and this is my blog website. Here you'll read posts about my passions, life, and a lot of randomness.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Eh, just wear clothes that make you look thin until you can work it off. I totally know what you mean about that though. I am trying to take of my last 15 pounds or so and I am scared to run into people from my high school in the meantime.
Hearing that song just makes me think of Team America.
I need to have sex too. My boyfriend works all the time as well, and I feel bad that he’s so tired, but really it’s both of us. Weird as it sounds, we just don’t have sex ’cause when he’s home we mostly just want to sit around and talk and watch TV idly. I’ll fix it tonight though.
I also feel you about needing more money. For me, not only do I just want money, I also feel pathetic not making as much as he does. I budget better, so it actually works out and he asks me to borrow cash more than vice versa, but I wish I could pay for more stuff when we go out, etc.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
March 7th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Hi Crystal…sorry you feel so down
I read your About me. Where in the Bay Area are you. I live right over in St.Pete. I must admit this part of Florida can be a huge bore! I’m sure if you get out and about you’ll find some cool people to hang out with! btw I faw your post on Honey’s blog…that’s why I hit you up 
March 7th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Yeah, definitely doesn’t sound like you’re having the best of time right now :sad: I just hope everything works out in the end. I feel you on the sex part. I don’t think it is selfish that you want sex with James, because lets face it - we need it. It is a very healthy part of a relationship. Does he have weekends off? That would probably be the best time to try something.
Pfft screw those chicks. Trust me, if they spend any time talking about you, then you must be something special to them. Just the other night, I went clubbing with a girlfriend of mine and these two catty bitches were snickering at us. We just continued dancing, having a good time. I knew exactly why they were talking smack and that is the age old reason - they were jealous. Girl, you’re gorgeous and you’re going to run into that daily!
Ah money, money
Such a huge issue in almost everyone’s lives. I feel ya! I need more!
March 7th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Thanks for the suggestion!!! I’ve never been to New Port Richey…but from people I know I’ve heard its pretty slow there!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Screw the bitches. If they have nothing else to do than babble, then the employer is wasting his money on them. Acting like a bunch of high schoolers with nothing to do.
Good luck warding the idiots off.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Hold your head up girl. You are beautiful on the inside as well as the ouside! None of them can hold a candle to you. And boy does that song take me back…..aaaaahhh, such a sad song. :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
March 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
it’s good that you are going fo be workirg again, that will keep you busy!I am SO broke too! I need to get a Second job but I also am waiting to see what my sched for school next quarter will be, so that makes job hunting a lil difficult.
Anyway… I was expecting to hear you sing… lol but it’s the original artist. You should do lil audio clips of you singing… I’d love to hear them. You have such beautiful voice!!
March 8th, 2008 at 6:25 am
oops,, relationship problems.. hopefully work will make you feel better.. I don’t think I should give further comments about the relationship issue, looks like that is more of a problem and not really the work..
March 8th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
This entry just made me want to give you a big hug.
Things between you and James will get better. Hopefully after you talked to him he’ll realize that he should spend some more time with you instead of the guys. It sounds like he’s not only busy and gone a lot, but that maybe you two are on different schedules. That’s how it was with my boy and I during his last term at school (that thankfully just ended). He wasn’t out of class until midnight and I’d usually have to be at work by 7:00AM the next day. So he’d come to bed at 3:00AM and want to have sex, but I’d be out cold asleep and just beyond too tired. It’s really about finding a common middle ground that’ll work for the both of you. And you guys will find it.
I hope that work goes okay! I think that you’ll be happier spending time there. You’ll be making money, and that’ll help take a lot of your stress off of you. <3
March 8th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Hmmm, I think your boyfriend is cheating on you. The classic “i’m too tired”. If he was able to pleaseure you before witht he same number of hours of work, then, yeah he’s cheating. You’re not being selfish.
March 10th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
“I’m not a nymphomaniac or anything…”
Pfft, I am. That’s why I can’t be around guys I’m interested in, I’d jump their bones faster than they could say: “Wait”.